March 20 2004
Disco is NOT dead
The 24 hours since I brought Skip back to the apartment has been wonderful. The timid baby who cried silently and found eye contact difficult, that Mike and I left in Angarsk 4 months ago tomorrow is now a beautiful, expressive and curious little boy. He is loving the world of walking and manages to sneak up behind me at every turn. It has been a day of discovery – not only for Skip, but for me as well. I have discovered no matter where I put him down, he will stand back up quickly and follow close behind, still surprising me that such a tiny little guy can manage the art of standing on two feet. I have discovered silly things such as: 1. He loves kisses on his forehead…2. He is quite ticklish and actually begs for more…3. He has an “outie”4. Pampers made in Russia don’t hold up like those in the U.S. - Skip somehow went through all the cloth diapers I brought yesterday so we switched to disposables – Thankfully he saved the really messy stuff for the disposables. 5. While this apartment is “beautiful” by the standards here, it is still old, and full of dangerous toddler traps.6. Skip eats everything I give him, but he’s not crazy about whole bananas – he prefers them mashed in his Cream of Wheat7. We share an appreciation for Andy Griffith and Skip decided bedtime could wait when I popped the DVD in the player last nite – we watched together on the couch :)8. 2.5% milk tastes NOTHING like milk back home – not even the Parmalat we have sometimes resorted to on the boat.9. The 1950’s model “washing machine” we have here is much wiser that I am and like Skip has a mind of its own. It does WHAT it wants to, WHEN it wants to, and never what it should at the right time. It will behave when I stand there and watch it, but seizes the opportunity to do as it pleases the second I walk away.10. “Disco Oleg” while quiet the first day and half, is alive and well next door. I swear I can sing the song he played OVER AND OVER AGAIN yesterday, by heart, despite the fact my ability to speak, understand and recognize Russian is limited to about two dozen phrases. I don’t think I’ll try singing the song in mixed company – who knows what I’d be saying….11. While Skip is learning “NO”, a good “NYET” works best when he’s about to yank the computer off the couch or slam the bathroom door on his fingers.12. While I have missed Skip terribly since we said “Paka” four months ago, it’s like the time didn’t pass and we’ve been a family forever. He can make me laugh and cry happy tears just by smiling at me, or grabbing my hand to walk with him.13. It doesn’t get any better than this…Skip too has discovered many useful, and not so useful tibits:1. Mama feeds me much more than the caregivers and gives me better stuff to drink on demand J (Apparently she was paying attention to the list of instructions the caregivers gave her before they’d let her take me to the apartment however, because she is yet to give me any of that chocolate hazelnut cake roll she found at the grocery store) I’m working on it though…she can’t resist me for long.2. Papa manages to be EVERYWHERE: the puppy talks just like him, Mama talks about him and how he misses me ALL the time, and he is even in the laptop. Mama turns it on and he reads books to me from the laptop. I’ve got a cool Papa, huh?3. Even if mama doesn’t like the milk here, I do and prefer it to tea!4. Mama has lots of cameras and loves to take my picture. All I have to do is look cute – which isn’t difficult I’m told, and out comes the cameras. I don’t mind though, it just means she always has an eye on me and I like that.5. The thing called a washing machine makes Mama crazy – it likes to splash water ALL over the bathroom when Mama isn’t looking. Just wait til she gives ME a bath….then she’ll really see some splashing.6. If I walk over to Mama and grab her hand she will do three things; kiss my forehead, stop whatever she is doing, then walk around the house with me.7. Pretending to love Andy Griffith gets me an extra hour with Mama at night. I’m not so sure about the Waltons she is talking about watching next…sounds like there are too many of them for me!8. When I wake up in the morning and cry because I am confused about where I am, Mama will pick me up and hug me for a long, long, time.9. My family in the United States can’t tell time! They call at silly hours of the night because they forget we’re 13 hours ahead of Massachusetts time. We don’t mind one bit though, we love to talk to people no matter what time it is. It’s the only social interaction we get ya know!10. When I put all my toys back in the “toy box” (it’s really a plastic bathtub but don’t tell Mama, she might make me take a bath in it) Mama says “ Mala dyets” then gives me a toddler cookie. If I eat it all, I get another!11. If I screech when Mama puts me for a nap, she comes running and talks nice to me and lies me back down and rubs my back. Then she leaves and if I’m not really, really exhausted, I’ll screech again…it works for awhile – until I fall asleep or she gets tired or the screeching…12. Mama is the really cool – She plays with me, she is ALWAYS smiling at me and giving me kisses – and reminds me what a great PaPa I have. Hmmm, I don’t know what I did my whole life without her!13. Oh yeah, there’s one more place Papa is around here: In my heart – I love him bunches ya know.Boris and Irina are coming to visit so it’s time to go for now – we have to clean up a little before they get here – don’t want to think we’re having TOO MUCH fun….
March 21 2004
Ways a 14 month old tells his mama he loves her…
At 14 months, and lacking the verbal skills to express himself, Skip somehow has managed to find many ways to tell me just how much he loves me and how much he appreciates life with his new mama:One of the conditions I was allowed to remove Skip from Baby Home #1 was to agree, in writing, to abide by the verbal list of do’s and don’ts the Assistant Dr. gave me when I picked him up. This is standard procedure. The reality is, while they enjoy the break from one less little one to care for ( the usual ratio is 12 kids to 2 caregivers) and are genuinely happy they are on their way to being adopted by their ‘forever family”, they know there’s still a way to go, and once the kids come back, it’s hard for them to re-adjust. It’s too easy to “spoil” them while we have them with us – and when they go back to the Baby Home and there are only 2 people to look after 12 kids, its just not fair to the caregivers or the children. So, we are given a very long list:I think they go overboard figuring if they put the fear of God into us, maybe we’ll be somewhat reasonable. Among others, I was told:No chocolate (duh)No coffee (double duh)No sugar (borderline duh) except a little bit if I give him Tea (Which I’m not planning on giving him since it’s been the only thing he’s been drinking since 6 months instead of formula)No pacifier (Hey, works for me)Don’t hold the baby much (Yeah right – I waited four months to stare at him from a distance?)No citrus (That I live with)Strict adherence to nap schedule:10 – 12 a.m. & 3 – 5 p.m. (Yeah, that’s fine – fits in nicely with my nap schedule…)Bedtime is 8 (May have to be earlier depending on how tired MAMA is)No strawberries (And where would I find strawberries in the middle of winter in Siberia???)Call the Baby Home if the baby is “stuck with any sudden bad illness”No sugar sweetened cerealNo candy bars (Cool, I don’t have to share the snickers I brought with me)No gum (HUGE DUH! The kid has two teeth and is 14 months old!)You all get the picture…All kidding aside, I know it’s not fair to anybody to send a sugar riddled “spoiled” (and I’m using the term loosely here) baby back to the caregivers so I’ve been good. I’ve been giving him only healthy food and drinks and wasn’t surprised when the mild diarrhea began…It was of course, his way of saying “Thank you Mama for the nourishing food!” I was even “smart” enough to bring a ton of powdered Pedialite just in case…Of course the first round of “Thanks Mamas” would have sufficed, but 12 hours worth Skip???Then of course there was the “Thank you for being such a cuddly Mama” - so cuddly I think I’ll sleep with YOU instead of in this rock hard porta-crib tonite, okay?” Hmmm…okay, just until you’re asleep….(6 times this went on last nite – hey, the kid’s got diarrhea – he NEEDS me!)Let’s not forget the “Thanks for giving me my first bath MAMA!” Yep, Skip was so ”thrilled” with his bath (they DO NOT have baths in the Baby Homes – EVER so at 14 months this truly was his first real bath) that as soon as I sat Skip in the plastic tub in the middle of the living room while the video camera rolled to catch the special moment, he screeched louder than anything Disco Oleg could ever have played on his CD player, and jumped right back out, grabbed onto my neck and got me soaking wet too! Cool, we both got a bath today. Come to think of it - it was my first RUSSIAN BATH. Not what I had in mind when I read about Russian Baths….Oh yeah, and then there was “Thanks for letting me have Boris’s wife’s cooking instead of Baby food for dinner today Mama” In fact, I like it so much, I’m gonna give you some back when you’re not looking…. Of course I didn’t know this at first, I just thought that part was kinda mushy…until Skip tried to put some more back in my plate when I WAS looking… (Hey, it had rice in it and I thought it would be good for him considering the “delicate nature of his digestive system at the moment”… Ah yes, another good one: "Thanks for vacuuming up all the crumbs I left all over the apartment floor mama" - And just think with that old beat up vacuum it only took an hour to do this tiny little apartment. Now I have a clean floor to spill this entire box of cheerios onto. And of course, last but not least, Thanks for not reading, or doing laundry or nuthin, this afternoon so we could just snuggle and listen to the tape Papa made me. I really, really liked that Mama, did you?
March 22, 2004
On not giving up dreams - no matter how small they may be
The last 24 hours have been better than I could have anticipated. We are settling into a routine of sorts, seeing what works and what doesn’t and just plain enjoying each other. Yesterday morning we took the sled outside for a whole 15 minutes but it seemed like time stood still. This sled has history you see…. Well with only 2 t.v. channels here – both Russian, other than the visits to see Skip for a few hours each day, and our daily afternoon walks to the center of town to explore, there is little else to do that is ‘Safe’. But, since this apt. faces a school for very young children (Irina has explained its purpose three different ways so it’s hard to say if it’s a REAL school, a pre-school/nursery or daycare center) we’d sit and watch the parents drop their kids off. Sound exciting? Well actually, it’s very, very cute. You see, first, most everyone here walks, there are no school buses and its not uncommon to see both parents drop the kids off or pick them up. Of course snow is knee deep for 6 months so it could take a very long time getting a 4 year old to school isn’t as easy as it sounds. Thus, the sled…Everyone uses sleds. Wooden/aluminum sleds are used to tote their kids to and from school each morning – as well as around town when necessary. It’s just something that you don’t see in Dartmouth. Parents arrive at school with their child on a sled, they bring the children INTO the building personally, and then leave with the sled again, only to return with the same empty sled hours later to retrieve their child. You’ll also see grandmothers (Babushkas) bringing little children to school sometimes. We just thought it was cute and when we saw a sled in the store in town during one of our afternoon explorations, for 300 rubles (about $10.00) we bought it so when we returned in the winter for our 3 week court trip, we could bring Skip around in it… We left the sled here in the apt. with Boris’ permission until we returned. super lightweight and will make a great souvenier when we bring Skip home we thought..Well the winter court trip of course didn’t happen and as silly as it sounds it has been one of our disappointments about the long delay. I know it sounds crazy to many, but to Mike and I, it was just something we wanted to do - bring Skip around for sled rides…Finding out we wouldn’t return for Skip over the winter was disappointing for MANY reasons, and this one may sound trivial, but, some things in life you just can’t explain, nor should you try I guess. The sled was still here when I got to the apt. and there’s still a ton of snow on the ground and with Irina’s blessing.(permission to leave the apt. alone) Skip and I ventured out into the “courtyard’ with 2 distinct and equally important purposes:1) Bring Skip on that sled ride2) Empty the trash in the dumpster – It was REALLY starting to reekSo yesterday morning, with a warm Spring sun shining, and the snow starting to melt slightly, I decided the time had come. I bundled Skip up properly to ensure I didn’t draw any admonitions from older Russians about exposed ears or foreheads or hands or feet…grabbed a blanket to cushion him, got myself dressed, and finally, picked up the sled. There was no way I could carry the smelly trash at the same so it came down to priorities. We voted. Trash lost. And there we were, ready for THE trip and head out into the hallway, locking all the doors behind us. Of course by now, Skip is hot, I have to pee again, but there’s no way I’m going back inside for fear I’ll lose my nerve. I’ve already practiced all the Russian phrases I’ll repeat to Skip if anyone comes close to us. We do not want anyone to know we are not Russians – that what we’ve been told. We must fit in when we are out with small children…no problem, I’m prepared – I know a handful of phrases. So what if they’re all geared towards adoption and came out of a handbook called “Russian for Adoptive Parents”…If Disco Oleg comes outside and says something to me, I’ll respond matter of factly, “ Gdye TualYet Mnye Khochitsa Pit’ “ Yes, Skip and made it down the two flight of stairs, and out into the warm March air without incident and thoroughly enjoyed our venture. He just sat there looking around. He was content and I so was I.. The 15 minute sled ride I waited 4 months for, was BETTER than I have been imagining. Go figure.By the way, it’s a good thing we didn’t need our Russian after all. After consulting my phrasebook, “ Gdye TualYet Mnye Khochitsa Pit’ means “Where is the Bathroom? I am thirsty!” Oh well, we’ll practice more before our next venture!P.S. Skip and I made another trip downstairs without the sled to get rid of the smelly trash! No Disco Olegs to contend with but we decided if approached, we’d go with a simple, ”ZamiCHAtil na” (That’s wonderful!”.) Which I suppose would work in most instances – unless he was telling me he adored me from afar and wanted to marry me or something….
March 23, 2004
Whispering sweet nothings...
Another 24 hours and Skip and I continue to bond, to learn about each other, to amuse each other and see the world in a whole new light. He gets up between 6:30 and 7 and plays quietly until he hears me call his name. Then he comes to life with a sweet innocence that pictures or even words just don’t capture. The shyness is gone, and has been replaced with a sense of adventure. 19 lbs of adventure….I am amazed how quickly the days here pass even though we don’t go anywhere or do anything other than be together. Besides our now daily sled ride, and a daily visit from Boris/Irina for 30 minutes or so we are alone together in a place where we know no one else, cannot speak the language, cannot watch television, the DVD player no longer provides entertainment since the battery overheats 15 minutes in every movie, Email access ( I HATE COMCAST) is for some reason almost non-existent and a 13 hour time zone difference makes phone calls scarce. YET WE ARE HAPPY. I am learning so much about him. It is truly amazing what you learn when you exclude all outside distractions.Some of the things that amuse me:He’s a neat kid…After playing with his tub of toys, he will quite often begin to pick them up all on his own. Not wanting to get too excited over the prospect of a child with a neat room and figuring this was something they drilled into them from very young at the Baby Home, I did ask Irina if this was already part of their daily routine. She looked at me funny, and in a way only Irina can respond, said. “So, he has only been in the groupa for older children about ‘sree” weeks I think maybe he is just a neat boy.” Way Cool!Skip enjoys having his hair combed. He gets a silly little euphoric grin on his face when I comb it, then when I’m done, he uses both hands and scratches his head all over. I think he’s not used to having any hair and the whole combing experience/sensation is all new to him. I guess there are still a lot of “firsts” to be enjoyed – we just have to be a little creative about finding them. But boy, they are there.His fine and gross motor skills are actually at level or slightly advanced. Despite his upbringing and the negative impacts you normally see in those areas, he can do just about anything a 14 month old should. He picks up cheerios (and every other teeny-tiny crumb you don’t want him to find off the carpet) with his thumb and index fingers on either hand, walks (obviously) opens things (generally things he shouldn’t) can turn dials, push levers and manipulate the little buttons on the computer modem nicely. I should know. I lost the first draft of this document an hour ago when he found the little “OFF” button! That’ll teach me to not save it as I type… He can climb up the back of the couch which has ladder type rungs, and stack books one on top of the other. His hand eye co-ordination is great too. Just today he managed to take his sock off an place it perfectly in MY mouth. Yummy. He is fascinated with the hole in the ceiling. There is a hole, about 6 inch diameter in the middle of the living room ceiling. It appears there was once, or will someday be a light fixture there. Well Skip is fascinated with that hole. When I’m holding him, trying to comfort him before bedtime at night, I will walk with him and talk to him softly and as we walk, (trying to avoid the creaks in the floor – and I think I finally know where they all are) Skip will fixate on the hole. If we stray too far from the hole, he strains his neck nervously and his whole body tenses up, until we are back within eye shot of that hole and then I feel his little body begin to relax again. I can’t figure it out, and I’m not sure I need to, but I guess Mike and I can save a heap of money on lighting fixtures for his nursery….all he needs is a hole in the ceiling….I think he’s gonna LOVE cheese pierogi…Irina threw two packages of cheese in our carriage the other day, telling me “So, The children, they like to eat this for dee-ner. It is cheese and EET is good for them.” Well, turns out its Farmer’s Cheese and while Skip does indeed like it, It’s pastier than hell. I had no idea HOW they ate it, or WHAT they ate it with, but every time I gave him a bite, he’d want a drink from his sippee cup, then proceed to clog the cup with the paste. So I decided to mix it with boiled mashed potatoes that Mrs. Boris sent. He went nuts! He cried when the plate was empty. I promised him more since I did buy potatoes at the supermarket. Poor guy, it’s gonna be a few days before he gets more unless Mrs. Boris sends more mashed potatoes today. You see, there is no peeler here and the knives are so dull it took me 15 minutes to peel one small potato and before I could get it in the pot, it fell off the counter and rolled UNDER the stove – to a place NO WOMAN – especially THIS WOMAN dares to go. (This could explain the occasional odors in this place….)When Skip sees me with his food or drink, he immediately sits and grunts. Doesn’t matter where he is, what he’s doing, he sits and then he grunts. Again, I thought this was something he learned at the Baby Home, so I foolishly asked Irina. She again looked at me strangely and said “So, I don’t know about children in the United States, but here in Russia, when it is time to eat, the young babies sit at “higher” chairs and older children, like the in his new groupa, they ‘seet’ at leetle tables and chairs”. I think I had better stop asking Irina questions like this…..I think she’s beginning to have doubts about my maternal instincts….He has already figured out that if he keeps one eye on the task at hand, and one on his dumb, unsuspecting Mama, and keep a slight grin on my face, she will momentarily be caught up in the moment and not realize what I’m really up to…Translation for REALLY UP TO: he is playing with the electrical cords AGAIN, he is about to yank a full cup of red juice off the table onto Mrs. Boris’ grey carpet, He is going to put this year old mini M&M he just found between the couch cushions in his mouth, OR the one he finds particularly amusing, he is about to knock both of the 2 liter bottler of water which Boris delivers to us daily and are kept in the hallway, on their sides, which trust me, make a horrible thud which I’m sure the people beneath us just LOVE.He loves it when I whisper in his ear. He gets a cute little smile on his face and then when I’m done, he tilts his head towards me, encouraging me to do it again. I’d been saying things like “Mama loves you bunches” or “Papa misses you sooooo much” or “Your brothers and sister can’t wait for you to come home” and getting the same adorable result. Then I thought about the phrase “whispering sweet nothings” and being the warped person I am, decided to experiment. I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when I whispered “Oleg will pay for this music some day”, “Mrs. Boris’ meatballs aren’t so bad ya know”, “There was one lady on the flight from Moscow with the worst b o. I’ve EVER experienced” and “Is it me or are the dogs HUGE around here?” and he still melted….. More amazingly, just this morning after I was whispering in his ear a bit, he actually did the same to me. That’s right. He leaned over but this time he whispered in MY ear. I thought I was hearing wrong, so like him, I tilted my head closer encouraging him to do it again, and sure enough, he repeated it. He said. “I love you Papa” Or something REALLY REALLY close to that…. REALLY !
March 25, 2004
Survivor 10: Angarsk, Siberia
All who know me well know I am a huge Survivor fan and aspiring Survivor Castaway (ONE of us will eventually be picked Bob!) and while I miss my husband and family, Skip and I are happy here. That is not to say there aren’t things I miss. Among them is my weekly dose of Survivor. But I have been giving the subject much thought and have come to the conclusion that I am already LIVING my own strange version of the show. Yep, the way I see it, Skip and I are among the cast members here in Angarsk and we plan on going all the way. We’ll be the final two, no doubt.While the basic infrastructure remains intact the rules for Siberian Survivor are just slightly different. You see the game’s first challenge was issued before I even arrived: I was allowed only 44 lbs on my trip over from Moscow to Irkutsk. – no small task considering ½ of those 44 lbs was allocated as Baby Home donation items. That’s right, after the 22 lbs of infant Tylenol, baby lotion, liquid vitamins and chewables, I was down to a mere 22 lbs. This is where the game began and where the scheming all started and being the resourceful person I am, I quickly came up with a fool proof plan. You see international flights allow passengers 70 lbs, so I would simply pack 70 lbs. Then when in Moscow, put on ALL my excess clothing just until my bag was weighed and I had my ticket in hand. Then, I could peel off the extra layers and I was home free…And so I did. When my driver and translator drove me from one airport to the next, I explained I needed to “freshen up” before I checked in for Irkutsk. They graciously waited as I headed for the restrooms and proceeded to put on layer after layer of clothing. 4 tank tops, 3 short sleeve tops, a long sleeve jersey, Boris’ souvenir “DARTMOUTH” oxford, and finally my zippered nylon sweatshirt. Then the bottom layers: 2 pair of shorts, a pair of super lightweight black pants, a pair of slightly big jeans and then my sweat bottoms. And there I was. The abominable Snowwoman. I could barely walk I had so many layers on. But I managed to get my long fur trimmed coat over my body, shoved undergarments and socks in my pockets, then proceeded to fill Skips snowsuit with items. Phew. I had done it. I was good to go. If of course, I could move….No problem, I thought to myself. "Take small steps and maybe they wont notice you went into the bathroom 10 minutes ago and are now emerging 26 lbs. heavier. If anyone noticed, I wouldn't know. i didn't dare make eye contact with anyone but my grand scheme worked like a charm. Got my ticket and headed for my seat took off my coat and tucked Skip’s bulging snowsuit inside of it and there I sat – and sweltered until it was our time to board. You can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to wear an extra 20 lbs of clothes in an airport that’s 80 degrees. But I boarded the plane and peeled off layer after layer ( to the amusement of the gentleman in seat 10B) until I was down to a tank top and shorts. I then folded all my clothes, and packed them neatly into the folding nylon tote bag that I secretly had hidden in my pocketbook. I had won the challenge and would move onto the next round! Yes, since my arrival, I’ve aced every immunity challenge and even won a few reward challenges. I have to admit, it has been hard at times – the potato peeler – the milk – the lack of Edy’s Ice Cream – these are things one doesn’t give up easily.I’m fortunate however, that one of my rewards has resulted in the delivery of fresh bottled water daily. I don’t know what I would have done without it. The water in the tap is not safe to drink, and runs brown at times so that one was a biggie. I don’t mind wringing my washed clothes out by hand, or hanging them outside to dry, having only 3 washcloths or even sleeping on a mattress that I think has been around since Lenin ruled, but the water would have been tough to overcome. Yes, isolated in our little apartment, Skip and I have formed a very strong alliance. We have vowed that it will be just the two of us until the end. Some have already been eliminated. The others, Disco Oleg, The Bag Man, and Mrs. Boris, are all cast members too.We are convinced, Skip and I, that Mrs. Boris has a plan. She had decided if she prepares enough food with mushrooms, sour tomatoes and the third white meat (still haven’t decided WHAT that white meat IS yet) we will BEG to leave this place. Sorry lady, we’ve got a secret stash of food that can keep us nourished for at least a month…And Disco Oleg he has taken a different approach. Not since Rob came up with the lie about his dead grandmother last season has anyone thought of such a clever idea…Russian Disco torture. Yes, his plan is to wear us down mentally and physically by playing his Disco music day and nite. We’ve got news for Oleg. Skip has been raised in a room with 12 screaming children, day and night, for the past 14 months, does he really think a little music will interrupt his sleep? And Mama & Papa’s room back home is directly above my big brother Levi’s room – where the TV and music NEVER shuts off…You’re going down Oleg, it’s just a matter of time.And the Bag Man. We hadn’t mentioned him yet. Bag man dwells above us somewhere and no matter what time of day we go out for our walk/sled ride or to empty the trash, he is right there - spying…He is always coming up or going down the stairs carrying an empty burlap sack. Leaves with it empty, returns with it empty. He thinks he’s fooling us. We know he’s been listening through the 7 layers of doors to our apartment, trying to hear what our strategy is, but we’re on to him. He won’t learn anything from us His time would be better spent attempting an alliance with Oleg because Skip and I have it all sewn up….Irina is the camera person you don’t see while watching the show. She’s the person who does the little interviews with the cast members. The monologues which you see in every episode. Here in Siberia, Irina does the same. She comes each day for 30 minutes average and asks questions, “chats” and then bids farewell. You never know what part of that conversation will appear as an outtake in the next episode however so you learn to choose your words carefully. (Hopefully she’ll forget the stupid questions from me about Russian kids sitting on the floor to eat and infants being taught to pick up their toys…..)Jeff Probst of course has been replaced here in Russia by Boris. Like Jeff, Boris shows up just long enough each episode to take care of business – deliver food and water rewards, have a quick look around, ask if we’re okay, and off he goes to the next tribe I suppose. Leaving the the two remaining members of the Yani Pani Mayu tribe to fend for themselves.And so it goes. Our life as cast members of Survivor 10. Stay tuned. Like the real Survivor, you’ll have to wait to see who the winner is.P.S. I just uploaded a short file in the FILE CABINET section of Skip taking a few steps. There’s no sound. Its actually off the digital camera. Now that I know I can upload them, I’ll try and put a few more up. Also, no word yet on when the new Survivor buffs will be available, sorry.
March 25, 2004
Routines and Rituals - A day in the life...
It’s early evening and it has been another busy day with Skip. Since he had a two hour nap yesterday morning and another in the afternoon, he apparently reached a sleep quota for any 24-hour period, and was bright-eyed by 5:45 a.m. A full hour earlier than usual, and a full hour of sleep I wasn’t counting on missing…Nonetheless, our morning routine kicked into gear. A bottle of formula is first on the agenda. Skip and usually be convinced to let me help him hold it – he’s fiercely independent for 14 months old which I suppose he has had to be, but I do enjoy it when he does let me feed him. 8 ounces later he is fully charged and ready to go. He cleans out the kitchen cabinets, removing the contents and arranging them all over the linoleum floor as I start breakfast and laundry. (A demonic mini-washing machine that sits in the bathtub and agitates clothes but doesn’t wring them out, REQUIRES an early start) . The lack of modern conveniences such as sliced bread, Frozen Eggo Waffles, or even baby cereal that’s written in English not, Cyrillic, makes the task a bit longer that “normal”, but in an hour, we’re usually able to eat. Of course clean up takes awhile since there is no dishwasher and the water that comes out of the tap has only 2 modes: pathetically slow or “shower time for every one” fast. Now I could handle combining my morning shower with doing dishes if it weren’t for the fact that getting the ONE and ONLY correct combination of EXTREMELY HOT and OCCASSIONALLY BROWN COLD WATER, is near impossible to achieve and one slight wrong turn and you’re either scalded or likely to turn brown…So, we keep the two tasks separate and manage to have the kitchen cleaned up in 30 minutes. Not bad for cereal, huh?Boris delivers our food for the day and Potable water somewhere between 9:00 and 9:30 so I make an effort to get dressed before then. Emphasis is on the word effort, as Skip sometimes hs other plans. Once I’m dressed I start the wringing…of the dreaded laundry. This takes about 30 minutes also since again, getting the right temperature combination to hand rinse and wring is touchy at times but we do okay. I usually put skip on his throne while I’m wringing. Kill two birds – keep him occupied – and keep my word to the Baby Home Director to continue his potty training.Somewhere in between Boris comes and goes as he only stays 2 or 3 minutes, and we go back to our respective tasks. Once the wringing is done, there’s the hanging. Sometimes a problem if it’s still really cold outside in the morning and the clothes have to be hung inside. The tub, expanding line doesn’t work as advertised and one good towel does it in. The weight is too much for it and all your efforts were in vain since your entire day’s laundry is now in a heap on the bottom of the tub and floor. We found a way around this by putting up a small line in the bedroom that extends from the window to the bouncer that hangs in the doorway. It works really well but makes closing the curtains or the bedroom door impossible. Oh well, at least we have clean, dry underwear.After the laundry we are done with the real chores. We usually have a half hour of play time before Skip’s 10:00 nap. During that time we read, build Legos, or drop clothespins into the Empty Pringles can. We have fun and Skip is tired but not happy when he sees me start the nap routine: music is turned on, all objects within his grasp from the crib are removed, obligatory diaper check, close the half of the curtain that isn’t effected by the clothes line, and finally, cornering him. He screams for the first 20 seconds he’s in the crib, more for effect I think, and then starts HIS routine. First he sings for awhile, then he does crib racing (“running” from one end of the little crib to the other and then banging the wall in front of him as if in victory. This is is then usually followed by more singing/whiny babbling, and then it starts. The ceremonious removal of all crib items. Stuffed animals first, soft books next, then blankets. They are all dropped around the perimeter of the crib and he will always give one final survey of the crib to ensure no foreign objects have been left behind before lying down and falling asleep. Skip’s ritual lasts anywhere from 5 minutes to 25 minutes but it always ends the same way. Him asleep on his back or side in some strange position that one would think simply cannot be comfortable. Apparently he thinks it is since he’ll sleep for a hour or more. He awakens smiling, and will hide everytime I call his name from the other room – ducking down so I can’t see him. When I walk into the room and hold my hands out however, he pops back up and makes the same sound each time: Ah-ah Another victory for Skip in his book I suppose. It is usually close to noon by now so Skip has another bottle while I make lunch. He will eat anything and I’ve tried to give him a variety of lunch choices. If Mrs. Boris sent good stuff today I might mash or chop some of it for Skip’s lunch, or when all else fails, Baby Food. Actually, the Baby Food here is Nestle brand and smells and TASTES better than most U.S. baby food. I think today he had beef stew based on the picture on the jar, and the smell (I wasn’t up for tasting today) but Skip devoured it and I decided to have a package of peanut butter crackers since I wanted to avoid a lengthy clean-up detail. It was so beautiful outside I wanted to make the most of our afternoon time. So once lunch was finished and we did the diaper thing, I got out the sled and placed it near the doors. Skip watched with anticipation. He had an idea something was up but when I put his snowsuit on the floor he KNEW we outward bound. He dressed without fussing and since it was so warm I decided to forego the snap on/off mitts that are attached to the suit and put a pair of thin fleece mittens on him instead. Boy was he a happy little camper. He could touch things now!We finally we made it downstairs on only two tries - forgot my passport the first time so we had to climb up all the stairs and fiddle with all the locks on the doors and grab the darn thing – and it was indeed a beautiful day. The snow is melting and there is slush everywhere but we managed to find navigable paths for the sled as we made our way up and down the road. Skip was a new man with his mittens. He could now reach down and touch the snow and then bring his slushy mittens to his face and smile. He was impressed with the number of dogs that were out today and few times tried to turn around in the sled to continue watching one after we had passed it, and nearly derailed. Yep, these mittens made all the difference in the world! Today, when I’d stop momentarily to chose a safe route (no slush or ponding water) he would become impatient and try to get me moving again but bouncing his bum back and forth in the sled and making a funny noise with this tongue that sounded like a tiny motor. I’d get the hint and we would keep moving and Skip would again lean back and enjoy the ride. We stayed out close to an hour today and returned to the apt. feeling refreshed. It was only 2:00 so Skip and I began to play on the floor when a knock on the door interrupted. It was Irina and Susha and Skip was shy at first but happy to see another child. They played while Irina & I chatted and then I showed them some of the digitals I’d been taking of Skip. Susha got a kick out of them the most I think. She liked the laptop and was impressed with all it could do.Skip got cranky around 3 – right on cue, and Irina & Susha said Pa-Ka. Irina promised to call tonite to let us know what time tomorrow we are going shopping. (We’re going out to buy “appropriate” spring clothes for our May (cross your fingers) court visit. Mike and I thought it would be a good idea if he “looked” Russian and Irina readily agreed because it makes day trips easier. We will “dress him as the Russians do” while we are out in public to avoid any negative comments/incidents and then donate the clothing to the Baby Home before we head out to Moscow where the styles/traditions are a little more modern. With Skip down for his afternoon nap, I snuck some decent looking salad from Mrs. Boris with a glass of Kool-Aid, read a little and once he was out cold I decided I needed one as well. We both woke up at 5:30. He was cranky and I was surprised. Not that he was cranky but that I had slept so soundly. A bottle seemed to comfort him some and now he plays as I type this. He however, is hungry now and wants real food so I suppose this is it for now. A typical day for Mama and baby – only the whole situation is far from typical. For now, however, we don’t dwell on that. We’re living, loving, and learning each day and making the most of it. Living for the present – and praying for a court date…..
March 26, 2004
Just a week…
It’s hard to believe all the changes in the past week. One short week. In that time Skip has grown in every way. To be honest, Mike and I didn’t know what this trip would bring and how Skip would react if he was allowed to live with me in the apt. We hoped he’d adjust – we never anticipated, in our wildest dreams, such a smooth transition: He is just plain happier. He smiles 99% of the day and night (glimpses of the other 1% are shown in the pictures today) and is truly content.He is heavier – evidenced by the fact that the adhesive tabs on the pampers we bought a week ago have gone from touching ends in the middle when I secured them around his belly, to now have a gap about 1” wide. He has gone from a hysterical, clinging child when I introduced him to his first bath a week ago, to a little boy who gets hysterical when I try to TAKE HIM OUT of the tub! Yep, we were sweating, Mike & I – worried how a child who hated the water as much as he did, would ever survive a summer on the boat – or perhaps I should say, how would Mike and I survive. We worried for nothing however as he now loves the bathtub, and cries when I try to take him out of it before HE is ready….Amazing…Our afternoon walks outside (well I walk, Skip gets to be pulled on the sled) have gone from 10 minutes to almost an hour, with Skip loving every second of it. He gets so excited when he sees a dog, or a bird, or even when he can touch the snow with his mitten that’s it’s a joy just watching him. He recognizes several English words now - including his name, and turns his heads rather quickly when I call Skip. I believe Boris is going to ask the caregivers to continue to call him by his nickname. Boris pronounces it “SKEEP” which is cute in itself. He also understands words like “NO” (though NYET still gets a better response) “cookie”, “more” and much to his dismay, “Nite-Nite”We’re working on learning body parts, and so far we get a 50/50 response when I ask him where his nose is (he’s probably thinking “on my face, isn’t everyone’s?” and when I ask him where his “buddah belly is” he often will pat his tummy. It’s funny to see his gears turning when I try and teach him these things and how he listens and watches as I show him. He doesn’t know “mouth” yet but is working on giving kisses. Right now, if he is in the mood and willing to indulge me, when I ask for kisses he leans towards me with this little mouth open like he’s gonna say “OH” and then he either sucks my cheek or chin for a second, or drools all over me….I don’t mind the drooling, but I’ve learned to not ask for kisses right after his V-8 juice….He has decided Ernie (of Sesame Street fame) is his friend, and loves watching the DVD – He will sit through most of it and laugh out loud, and dance whenever the musical parts come on….His other favorite DVD is the one Papa made for him where he reads books to Skip, but those are more sedate and we save those for evenings before bedtime…I think he’s beginning to think Papa is a laptop though, since that’s where we play our DVD’s because when I ask “Where’s Papa?”, he looks at the computer. He knows his Papa, he is just confused about “who or what he is”…we’re working on it though!He suspects when I take the snowsuit out, that something is up, but when I pull the sled out next, he KNOWS we are going outside…He’ll even sit patiently when I’m putting on my coat and boots, etc., because I think he figures, it’s worth the wait….When Boris/Irina visit, he is timid at first, and often hides behind me when they first approach or speak to him. Since they have both known Skip since he entered the Baby Home and are no strangers to him, I find this reassuring because I believe it’s his way of saying “You’re okay, but my MAMA is here now!” That was our goal all along little, boy – and in a few months, you’ll know what it is like not only to have a MAMA to protect you, but the bestest PAPA in the whole world, PLUS older siblings, and lots of crazy relatives… Don’t you lose sight of that Skip…
