The April fool is me!

I apologize in advance for just a short note today. It has been a very disappointing day. Boris and Irina called to say they wanted to come over early and bring us to the market (although I didn’t ask to go) and they came at 9:00. Only when I asked, did the subject of court come up. I asked what happened when he called the judge back this week and the response was the same “she didn’t give any definite”. When I asked what that meant, he said, he goes back on Monday again as usual. My heart sunk and I found it difficult to even look at them at that point – let alone speak - and we shopped in silence. When we got back to the apt. Irina asked if I would like to take a walk and I declined. The only thing I wanted to do was come upstairs and cry. They helped me bring the groceries up since I had Skip to carry plus the stroller. They tried to exit quickly but before they did, I asked them if they sensed a problem with the judge. He said no. I asked if he still felt we’d get our court date in May and his response was a very disappointing “50/50”….I nearly died hearing that, because, knowing how he never wants to be the bearer of bad news, he likely meant no. I specifically asked if ANYONE got court dates in May and he said, as far as he knew, no. I asked them to leave, telling them I didn’t feel well. I then contacted one of the other families waiting for a date – who is also supposed to get a May court date. I was speechless when she told me that on Monday, after court, she received an email from CHSM saying the judge gave out only 3 dates in May and she got one – May 6. While I’m happy for them, I don’t understand the double talk from CHSM and Boris. Why have I been told the judge hasn’t given ANY dates when he knew that he got one. It makes no sense. Why didn’t CHSM call us personally and share this information since we were suddenly left without a May date they told us was ours?Getting my Comcast email here has been a nightmare but I finally got to it after almost 1 hour or trying. There were two emails from CHSM. One dated 24 March saying that Boris was pretty sure that 29 March would be when the judge gave court dates. This was the first time I heard that specific news. The other email, dated 29 March said the judge did give 3 court dates out TOTAL to all the agencies, and CHSM got one. It also said the judge is likely taking a vacation (usually a whole month between April and May. Something I feared would happen. She takes a month off and everyone just waits.. That confirmed everything I just heard from the other family and left me feeling totally betrayed. I cannot understand how I could be here, talking to these people daily and not know this. For the first time I feel like we will never bring Skip home and that we’re being strung along. Mike and I both called Irina and requested that both she and Boris come over asap so I could talk to them. Initially Boris said he couldn’t come tomorrow because he was not in Angarsk. After Mike’s call to Irina, I got a call back saying he would be here at 7:00 p.m. when he got back to Angarsk. It is now 9:10. They never came, they never called.I am so incredibly disappointed I can’t begin to describe it…

COMMENTS:

3 April 3004 – Diane Bacon:Judy,I'm so sorry. I can imagine your sadness and disappointment...esp­ecially since I vividly can picture you in the apartment. I had heard via the Irkutsk group that dates were hard to come by right now. I think because of Easter and her vacation. It seems to me that the dates should be able to be scheduled out for at least a few months. It would be so much more helpful to waiting parents if they at least knew when they would return. This makes it almost impossible to recommend this region to anyone. I'm glad that someone from our agency got a date at least. It shows that Boris isn't being punished. The next date he gets should be yours! I will hope and pray that he is successful on Monday. You will get your little boy home....Thinking of you,Diane

The new truck melt down.

Once again Skip let me sleep until 8:00, and once again I was extremely grateful. While he had his bottle I started breakfast and the laundry and even managed to get the floor vacuumed. All before 9:00 – progress. Irina came to bring our food today, explaining Boris was in the car, and they were no their way out to Baby Home 2 for a visit – therefore, she wouldn’t be coming back for her usual afternoon visit. This gave us a little more flexibility, so we decided we would finally go shopping alone right after our morning nap. I kept watching the temperature outside but the temperature still was –7C. I didn’t want to let this get in the way of our expedition, but was concerned that if it was too cold, we’d get funny looks from people. Skip took a long nap, as if resting up for the afternoon’s activities, and then only ate half of his lunch. I wondered if this was a new trend, or excitement, or both. By 1:30, with no temperature change, we decided to go for it anyway. We got dressed and managed to lug the stroller downstairs without incident, and headed out in search of the stores. It wasn’t as cold as it has been, I suppose because there was no wind, and Skip sang as we made our way through the icy paths and roads. We stopped to watch a few dogs, and even a cat – the first we have seen. I told Skip to get used to the idea of cats since there are 9 of them waiting for him at home, and he laughed. He thinks I’m kidding…It only took about 20 minutes to get to our destination, despite the rough terrain – ice, potholes, frost heaves, and mud – and we proudly went inside. The store, like, a giant indoor flea market, was not too busy, and we took a quick stroll around to see what they had that might interest us. We stopped in one Children’s clothing kiosk, and despite a saleswoman who insisted on selling us Purple jeans in a size that Skip won’t see for years, we managed to purchase only a onsie. Neutral color, size seemed right, and it meant getting the woman off our back. Worth the 78 rubles for sure.Our first purchase complete, we now had a little confidence and found the other Children’s store. Here, the woman tried to convince us to buy a nylon jogging suit, yellow with flowers embroidered on the jacket. We held our ground however, and passed. We did find a pair of denim overalls in the right size, as well as short sleeved tee shirt with boats on it. We liked them both a lot and were quite pleased with our progress. The next stop was the toy store. Here the lady kept talking to Skip and asking me questions and didn’t quite get the idea that I didn’t speak Russian for about 5 minutes. By then we managed to find the perfect toy for Skip. A ride-on truck that plays music when you press any of the 8 buttons on the steering wheel. I has a seat that lifts up to reveal a little storage compartment and a high bar on the back that he can hold onto and push the car with if he chooses. When I tried it out and pressed the buttons, Skip smiled broadly. He liked it, I liked, and @ 600 rubles (slightly over $20.00) it was a bargain. We also grabbed a plastic helicopter on a stick –the kind that you push along the floor and intended for toddlers who are just beginning to walk. Skip liked the way the rotors turned when I pushed it on the floor so we figured we’d get that too. The lady bagged the helicopter toy, buy explained in Russian that there wasn’t any bags big enough for the truck. I didn’t understand a word she said, but I got the point when she handed the truck to me, just as it was, and smiled. Not a problem, we just put it on top of the stroller’s hood, and made our merry way out of the stores. We were on a roll, but since our plastic shopping bag was full and the stroller couldn’t hold anything else besides the truck and Skip, we made the decision to head back to the apt. Skip sang all the way back, pleased I supposed, with his new toys and clothes. When we got back to the apt. however, the sun had finally broke out and it was actually beginning to get warm (relatively speaking) so instead of just calling it a day, we lugged everything upstairs (not a pretty site, trust us) and then went back out again. We were in the mood to celebrate our successful shopping day and wanted to buy a treat to help us celebrate. We stopped into a little “corner store” grocery/liquor store and checked out what they had that might fit the bill…We thought the double chocolate jelly roll looked good and pointed to it when the salesperson waited on us. Pushing our luck, we went all out and pointed to the milk – 4% this time – and paid the lady before exiting. Yep, a good day shopping and then cake and 4% milk on top of all that…We were living large…We again made it up the stairs with the stroller and grocery bag and made our way through the locks and finally got back into the apt. Skip was pleased, singing, and laughing to himself and I was tired – from going up and down the stairs! Generally he is semi-comatose when we return from the outdoors and very good about letting me peel off all the layers of clothing, but today he was fidgety. He kept grapping at the helicopter and whining – until finally he was free to play. I showed him how it worked, and although he couldn’t quite get the hang of it, he was happy to sit with the toy and try and push it. After about 15 minutes he looked around and saw the truck, still by the front door. I knew he would love this thing, so I got my camera ready, sat him down in the middle of the floor, then brought the truck near him. He just stared at it – and I took this to mean he was in awe of this beautiful new toy. I then picked him up, and sat him on it, pressed one of the buttons to make it play music, and then grabbed my camera to catch the moment…The only word that describes his reaction is fear. As soon as that music started playing and I stepped away to get the camera, he burst in tears, crying and shaking…worse than the bathtub episodes. I didn’t know what to make of it so I picked him up for a few minutes, comforted him, then tried again. He screamed again….I took some pictures anyway, and removed the truck from the room. Only then did he calm down. Just walking into the bedroom where the truck was now made him cry so we abandoned that idea for the afternoon, and decided on something a little more low key. Cake and milk. That was a big hit at least, and once our stomachs were full, we decided it was nap time. Skip slept soundly and I managed to finish a movie I started watching 3 days ago – “As good as it gets”, before drifting off myself. I dreamt I was in a giant store full of chocolate desserts and REAL milk…I wish I knew what Skip dreamt because when he woke up and I put him on the floor to play with his "safe" toys - he got up and walked into the bedroom where the truck was and sat next to, smiling....