Flashback....5 years ago: A message to my son.

At about 4:55 pm today Angarsk time (3:55 AM EST) the judge uttered the words we longed to hear. "The court grants the petition". Vadim Scobstov is now Michael Francis Holmes. JR. The judge even said his new name and congratulated his new parents. Tradition was that we take the people responsible for assisting in our successful court hearing out to dinner and (finally) we arrived back at the apartment to greet the newest member of the family. Skip (aka Michael Francis Holmes, Jr.) is eager to meet all of you. We're posting his latest picture in a few minutes and then, after hours of meetings, practice and court were all gonna take a long sleep. Momma gets breakfast in bed tomorrow morning.... she earned it!!!

Dear Skip:

Above is the blog entry that Poppa wrote on 23 August 2004 - the day a Russian judge legally made us your parents. I say legally, because in our hearts you had been ours since the day God placed you there nearly a year earlier. With those words that the judge uttered, you, Vadim,

became Michael Holmes, Jr:

and we began our new life as a family:

Yet, it doesn't seem possible that FIVE years have passed. Just not possible that the

beautiful little boy we arrived home with several weeks later:

has morphed into the handsome little boy you are today:

While I've been here every step of the way since then, it sometimes seems surreal.

You grow before my eyes:

You grow physically, socially, emotionally, and most importantly, closer to God. We love you SO very much, and look forward to the next 5 years! Well sorta. Could you slow down, just a little and not grow so quickly?

Love you forever,

Mommy & Poppa

My "baby" and his six-year check up!

Because we were in Russia when Skip turned six, we had to postpone his annual check up with Dr. Simmons. Today was our visit and it went very well. He is 47 lbs and almost 46.5 inches putting him in the 60th percentile for both. Not bad for a child who was BELOW the charts for both when we came home! He most relieved to learn he did not need any shots and felt like a bigshot answereing all the Doctors questions by himself. She always aksks the kids if they wear seat belts while in a car, helmets when riding a bike, and questions about their likes & dislikes. She asked him what school he went to - to which he replied "I am homeschooled" and when she asked him what he liked to do to (not so surprisingly) he told her "I like to go to Six Flags!". She said all in all he's a healthy boy and with any luck we won't need to return until his 7-year check up. 

FINALLY

One hundred-sixty-seven days ago today, Mike and I held a beautiful little boy in our arms for the very first time and gave him the only things we could: our hearts and a promise to return for him...In one-hundred-six days, on 24 August, we will FINALLY get the opportunity to keep that promise when we stand before the judge and claim him as ours legally, and then give him a few more things: a loving family, a home of his own, 9 crazy cats, and his father's name, Michael, Jr....No longer counting the days since we left him the first time, but counting down the day until we bring him home...

COMMENTS:

Bill & Toni DeFusco - May 12, 2004

Congradulations Mama and Papa!! I can't begin to tell you how HAPPY we are for you both. You both have someone wonderful to look forward to embracing and calling son. So 106,105,104.....Were counting too!!!Love, Toni, Bill.


Diane Bacon - May 13, 2004

Congratulations Judy & Mike! Start working on your "Angarsk Vacation Package" and soon it will be August. I'm so happy for Skip to finally come home after all of the waiting. You are all lucky to have found each other.

The April fool is me!

I apologize in advance for just a short note today. It has been a very disappointing day. Boris and Irina called to say they wanted to come over early and bring us to the market (although I didn’t ask to go) and they came at 9:00. Only when I asked, did the subject of court come up. I asked what happened when he called the judge back this week and the response was the same “she didn’t give any definite”. When I asked what that meant, he said, he goes back on Monday again as usual. My heart sunk and I found it difficult to even look at them at that point – let alone speak - and we shopped in silence. When we got back to the apt. Irina asked if I would like to take a walk and I declined. The only thing I wanted to do was come upstairs and cry. They helped me bring the groceries up since I had Skip to carry plus the stroller. They tried to exit quickly but before they did, I asked them if they sensed a problem with the judge. He said no. I asked if he still felt we’d get our court date in May and his response was a very disappointing “50/50”….I nearly died hearing that, because, knowing how he never wants to be the bearer of bad news, he likely meant no. I specifically asked if ANYONE got court dates in May and he said, as far as he knew, no. I asked them to leave, telling them I didn’t feel well. I then contacted one of the other families waiting for a date – who is also supposed to get a May court date. I was speechless when she told me that on Monday, after court, she received an email from CHSM saying the judge gave out only 3 dates in May and she got one – May 6. While I’m happy for them, I don’t understand the double talk from CHSM and Boris. Why have I been told the judge hasn’t given ANY dates when he knew that he got one. It makes no sense. Why didn’t CHSM call us personally and share this information since we were suddenly left without a May date they told us was ours?Getting my Comcast email here has been a nightmare but I finally got to it after almost 1 hour or trying. There were two emails from CHSM. One dated 24 March saying that Boris was pretty sure that 29 March would be when the judge gave court dates. This was the first time I heard that specific news. The other email, dated 29 March said the judge did give 3 court dates out TOTAL to all the agencies, and CHSM got one. It also said the judge is likely taking a vacation (usually a whole month between April and May. Something I feared would happen. She takes a month off and everyone just waits.. That confirmed everything I just heard from the other family and left me feeling totally betrayed. I cannot understand how I could be here, talking to these people daily and not know this. For the first time I feel like we will never bring Skip home and that we’re being strung along. Mike and I both called Irina and requested that both she and Boris come over asap so I could talk to them. Initially Boris said he couldn’t come tomorrow because he was not in Angarsk. After Mike’s call to Irina, I got a call back saying he would be here at 7:00 p.m. when he got back to Angarsk. It is now 9:10. They never came, they never called.I am so incredibly disappointed I can’t begin to describe it…

COMMENTS:

3 April 3004 – Diane Bacon:Judy,I'm so sorry. I can imagine your sadness and disappointment...esp­ecially since I vividly can picture you in the apartment. I had heard via the Irkutsk group that dates were hard to come by right now. I think because of Easter and her vacation. It seems to me that the dates should be able to be scheduled out for at least a few months. It would be so much more helpful to waiting parents if they at least knew when they would return. This makes it almost impossible to recommend this region to anyone. I'm glad that someone from our agency got a date at least. It shows that Boris isn't being punished. The next date he gets should be yours! I will hope and pray that he is successful on Monday. You will get your little boy home....Thinking of you,Diane

The new truck melt down.

Once again Skip let me sleep until 8:00, and once again I was extremely grateful. While he had his bottle I started breakfast and the laundry and even managed to get the floor vacuumed. All before 9:00 – progress. Irina came to bring our food today, explaining Boris was in the car, and they were no their way out to Baby Home 2 for a visit – therefore, she wouldn’t be coming back for her usual afternoon visit. This gave us a little more flexibility, so we decided we would finally go shopping alone right after our morning nap. I kept watching the temperature outside but the temperature still was –7C. I didn’t want to let this get in the way of our expedition, but was concerned that if it was too cold, we’d get funny looks from people. Skip took a long nap, as if resting up for the afternoon’s activities, and then only ate half of his lunch. I wondered if this was a new trend, or excitement, or both. By 1:30, with no temperature change, we decided to go for it anyway. We got dressed and managed to lug the stroller downstairs without incident, and headed out in search of the stores. It wasn’t as cold as it has been, I suppose because there was no wind, and Skip sang as we made our way through the icy paths and roads. We stopped to watch a few dogs, and even a cat – the first we have seen. I told Skip to get used to the idea of cats since there are 9 of them waiting for him at home, and he laughed. He thinks I’m kidding…It only took about 20 minutes to get to our destination, despite the rough terrain – ice, potholes, frost heaves, and mud – and we proudly went inside. The store, like, a giant indoor flea market, was not too busy, and we took a quick stroll around to see what they had that might interest us. We stopped in one Children’s clothing kiosk, and despite a saleswoman who insisted on selling us Purple jeans in a size that Skip won’t see for years, we managed to purchase only a onsie. Neutral color, size seemed right, and it meant getting the woman off our back. Worth the 78 rubles for sure.Our first purchase complete, we now had a little confidence and found the other Children’s store. Here, the woman tried to convince us to buy a nylon jogging suit, yellow with flowers embroidered on the jacket. We held our ground however, and passed. We did find a pair of denim overalls in the right size, as well as short sleeved tee shirt with boats on it. We liked them both a lot and were quite pleased with our progress. The next stop was the toy store. Here the lady kept talking to Skip and asking me questions and didn’t quite get the idea that I didn’t speak Russian for about 5 minutes. By then we managed to find the perfect toy for Skip. A ride-on truck that plays music when you press any of the 8 buttons on the steering wheel. I has a seat that lifts up to reveal a little storage compartment and a high bar on the back that he can hold onto and push the car with if he chooses. When I tried it out and pressed the buttons, Skip smiled broadly. He liked it, I liked, and @ 600 rubles (slightly over $20.00) it was a bargain. We also grabbed a plastic helicopter on a stick –the kind that you push along the floor and intended for toddlers who are just beginning to walk. Skip liked the way the rotors turned when I pushed it on the floor so we figured we’d get that too. The lady bagged the helicopter toy, buy explained in Russian that there wasn’t any bags big enough for the truck. I didn’t understand a word she said, but I got the point when she handed the truck to me, just as it was, and smiled. Not a problem, we just put it on top of the stroller’s hood, and made our merry way out of the stores. We were on a roll, but since our plastic shopping bag was full and the stroller couldn’t hold anything else besides the truck and Skip, we made the decision to head back to the apt. Skip sang all the way back, pleased I supposed, with his new toys and clothes. When we got back to the apt. however, the sun had finally broke out and it was actually beginning to get warm (relatively speaking) so instead of just calling it a day, we lugged everything upstairs (not a pretty site, trust us) and then went back out again. We were in the mood to celebrate our successful shopping day and wanted to buy a treat to help us celebrate. We stopped into a little “corner store” grocery/liquor store and checked out what they had that might fit the bill…We thought the double chocolate jelly roll looked good and pointed to it when the salesperson waited on us. Pushing our luck, we went all out and pointed to the milk – 4% this time – and paid the lady before exiting. Yep, a good day shopping and then cake and 4% milk on top of all that…We were living large…We again made it up the stairs with the stroller and grocery bag and made our way through the locks and finally got back into the apt. Skip was pleased, singing, and laughing to himself and I was tired – from going up and down the stairs! Generally he is semi-comatose when we return from the outdoors and very good about letting me peel off all the layers of clothing, but today he was fidgety. He kept grapping at the helicopter and whining – until finally he was free to play. I showed him how it worked, and although he couldn’t quite get the hang of it, he was happy to sit with the toy and try and push it. After about 15 minutes he looked around and saw the truck, still by the front door. I knew he would love this thing, so I got my camera ready, sat him down in the middle of the floor, then brought the truck near him. He just stared at it – and I took this to mean he was in awe of this beautiful new toy. I then picked him up, and sat him on it, pressed one of the buttons to make it play music, and then grabbed my camera to catch the moment…The only word that describes his reaction is fear. As soon as that music started playing and I stepped away to get the camera, he burst in tears, crying and shaking…worse than the bathtub episodes. I didn’t know what to make of it so I picked him up for a few minutes, comforted him, then tried again. He screamed again….I took some pictures anyway, and removed the truck from the room. Only then did he calm down. Just walking into the bedroom where the truck was now made him cry so we abandoned that idea for the afternoon, and decided on something a little more low key. Cake and milk. That was a big hit at least, and once our stomachs were full, we decided it was nap time. Skip slept soundly and I managed to finish a movie I started watching 3 days ago – “As good as it gets”, before drifting off myself. I dreamt I was in a giant store full of chocolate desserts and REAL milk…I wish I knew what Skip dreamt because when he woke up and I put him on the floor to play with his "safe" toys - he got up and walked into the bedroom where the truck was and sat next to, smiling....

Oatmeal Cookies and 3.5% milk...almost heaven!

A nap and ½ a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and I have survived yesterday’s attack…Despite Skip’s protests however, I chose to postpone our trip to the store yesterday and walking tour of the city since I wasn’t feeling 100%. I was tempted to – and wanted to – but something told me that the way our luck has been going, we’d get to the store and I would suddenly need a restroom and we’d be in deep doo-doo. We made the best of it instead, here in our little apartment. Skip was somewhat content to play our usual games; bowling, castle building, coloring, hide Mamas glasses (argh! – 1 hour yesterday before I found them – in his crib. I don’t even want to know HOW he managed to get them in there, I’m just glad I can see again. I do sense however, he’s growing bored with the simple toys and ready to move onto something a little more exciting – or maybe he just needs a few more empty containers. We’ll have to keep an eye on that situation.A bit stir crazy by dinner time, we decided to be adventurous and bake oatmeal cookies. I've been craving them since we got here - I don't know why that is but I finally HAD to have some. The task was not as simple as it sounds however, since 1) There are no baking dishes in the apt. 2) We had no vanilla, or brown sugar and 3) Once the oven is lit, the door gets hot and keeping Skip away from it while I’m in the kitchen is near impossible. You see, his best friend lives inside it. Yep, Skip’s got a friend who is remarkably the exact same height and weight that he is, and who could pass as his twin. We don’t know exactly how long he’s lived in there, but all Skip knows is EVERY time he looks inside the glass door, THERE HE IS. He even wears the same clothes that Skip does – go figure!Skip talks to him, dances with him, and lately, has been trying to outsmart him. I think he suspects that SOMETHING is up with this kid, and will try and trick him…He move to the side of the stove, and then actually sneak up on it slowly, but lo and behold, his friend is always there. We’ve decided to give him a name since he practically lives WITH US, so I asked Skip what we should call him and he said Bob. Of course he says Bob all the time, and other than “Papa” and “Ma”, and since Ma and Papa already exist, Bob was fitting.Anyway, the cookies came out pretty good, and Skip seemed to like them a lot. We shared a couple of them after dinner, and washed them down with a glass of nice cold water (since we were out of milk) until Skip backwashed and I decided to give him some juice in his own cup. He didn’t mind – either way he was happy.We skipped the bath as well, and chose to read some extra books instead, and before we knew it was 8:30 and time for bed. Skip went quickly to sleep, not feeling completely recovered, I followed not long after.I got a wonderful treat this morning from Skip – he decided to sleep in and didn’t wake me until 8:15! I did hear him at 7:30 but he is very good about just playing in his crib for awhile, but 8:15 was like heaven after all the early mornings. It was still –10C on the thermometer but Irina told us it was supposed to warm up some, so we planned to take a trip out later in the day. The morning flew by, and after Skip’s nap and lunch we got dressed and prepared to head out. We needed pampers and milk and were feeling brave enough to take a trip to the store alone. Skip got really excited when I took his snowsuit, hat, mittens and scarf off the hook and put them on the floor so I could dress him. I got sidetracked for a minute and when I came back to find him, he was lying on top of the heap as if to hurry me along…Just as we were leaving, Irina came to the door, so we all walked. That made the shopping easier since we could get the pampers at the nearby pharmacy where Irina could ask for them (They are kept behind the counter like everything else in the small store) and pay for them for us. From there we went to another small corner “grocery” store and got milk. This time it was 3.5% and I wondered if it would be better, or god forbid, worse tasting than the 2.5%… We also bought some strawberry ice cream at this store since it was just calling our names and I am happy to say, it was the best ice cream I’ve had in two weeks. Of course it’s the only ice cream I’ve had, but it was really pretty good. I would have let Skip have some but he was napping at the time, and as they say, you snooze, you lose.Dinner was a treat tonite since Skip has decided he doesn’t like rice. The one time before I gave it to him he ate it, but wasn’t thrilled. Today, however, he just wasn’t going to put up with it. He was spitting it out faster than I could spoon it in, and then he just plain refused to open his mouth – a first that I’m aware of. He scoffed a jar of carrots, so I know he was hungry – just not for rice. We’ll have to retest that one again at a later date. He had yogurt and bananas for dessert and ate some of my oatmeal cookie as well. I am happy to report the 3.5% milk ALMOST tastes normal and was a welcome change. I think next time we’re gonna go for 4.5% if they have it – what do I have to lose? We’ll keep you posted..It’s now 7:30 and Skip has been playing INSIDE the bathtub full of toys for about 45 minutes but is starting to get anxious since I promised him a real bath tonite. He’s been so good I have t keep my promise. It’s still hard to believe that 10 days ago he’d scream at the site of the water filled tub…I guess we might make a sailor out of him yet.

No news is bad news...and so was lunch today...

Not hearing from Boris/Irina yesterday, I was disappointed to say the least. I waited for the phone to ring, hoping for, praying for, and needing it to ring with news of a court date. By 8:00 I knew that “no news is bad news” and after putting Skip to bed, allowed myself to wallow in self pity. I had no appetite for “real food” but instead, sat in front of the television and ate 4 of the 6 coconut cupcakes I purchased a few days ago. I switched back and forth between Russian News and Bonanza dubbed over in Russian of course, not really watching, but simply killing time. I have only turned the TV on a handful of times since I’ve been here since the two channels offer nothing of interest, but for some reason, I needed the company.I fell asleep on the couch (likely of boredom) and stayed there until morning when Skip attempted to wake me - by banging on the bottom of the particleboard floor of the port – a – crib. It was later than usual, 7:20, and cooler than usual. I checked the thermometer outside and found it was –25C. Irina told me yesterday that it was going to be cold today and that daytime temps likely won’t rise above –15C – but the sun was shining already so perhaps there was hope…Skip had his bottle beside me on the couch, and by some strange twist of luck, he fell back to sleep. Maybe he sensed my disappointment today – or maybe he just didn’t get enough sleep, but in either case, it gave me a few extra minutes to try and slap myself out of this state…He slept only another ½ hour and was more than hungry at that point, so we had breakfast right away. He ate a huge plate of oatmeal, kefir & bananas then shared my egg and toast. Energized and rested, he crawled away to “rediscover” the toys inside his bathtub/toybox.Boris arrived with Irina at 9:15 delivering food and photographs I had developed so I could leave some in Skips album at the Baby Home, but failed to offer an exciting news of court. I couldn’t stand to not know any longer, and asked them what had happened yesterday. Through Irina, Boris explained the judge gave no specific court dates, BUT he said he was told to call the courthouse during the week. I asked Irina if that meant we would definitely get a date this week, and without asking Boris, replied “We think so”. This is the first I’ve heard of this step - calling the courthouse – so perhaps there’s reason to be hopeful.. Until now, we’ve only been told, that the judge sees facilitators on Mondays to get dates, but it does sound like MAYBE we’re getting somewhere….I hope so – for everyone’s sake. It will be difficult leaving Skip behind again next Tuesday, but I’ve prepared myself for that – what I’m not prepared for is leaving him without a court date in mind. I’ve done that once already and after three weeks together, doing again seems impossible. They left, and we regrouped – deciding to occupy ourselves with some bowling and block building. We now have enough empty Kefir containers to use for bowling pins, which we arrange in the long, narrow entrance way of the apt. and have fun seeing how many Skip can knock down. He does well, I must say, a few gutter balls here and there, but his game improves daily. Mine on the other hand hasn’t improved at all but Skip generally hogs the ball so I don’t get as much practice as he does…After gloating over his victory in bowling, Skip decided blocks would be fun so we built together. Our best creation was our replica of St. Basil’s Cathedral. Skip liked it – but then destroyed it a few minutes later so he could use the smaller blocks to play with his empty containers…They fit nicely inside the Kefir containers and he likes to fill each one with the bright colored blocks. He painstakingly lines up all the containers, then makes sure each one has been filled. The “ Quality Assurance” inspection I call it . Play time over, we ate lunch and moved onto naptime. I usually sit down and upload pictures while he talks himself to sleep, but today we’re having a slight problem staying at the computer. Within minutes of getting Skip into his crib, a sudden queasy feeling overcame me – indicating one of three things:1. I’m really anxious about the court date thing and have made myself sick. 2. The 4 coconuts muffins have come back to haunt me, or,3. Mrs. Boris has succeeded in knock me out of the Survivor game with her lunch todayI’m betting on a combination of the three and headed off to lie down – for as long as Skip sleeps or until I die – which ever comes first…

COMMENTS:

Mar 31, 2004 Bob & Fawn Ozug:Judy, as per your past requests, I wont try to console you about not having a court date. Instead I'll do what you prefer and state the obvious..."THAT SUCKS". (sorry Grandma, I know you see this) I wonder what exactly they do while they are in the courthouse. It's so strange to me. I know you're agrivated. I'll keep hoping and praying for you guys.